Wednesday, February 15, 2006

No More Mr Nice Girl

I now realise that for everyone who supported my actions last Sunday, other people are equally as pissed off with me. I don't envy my own position as people who once turned to me now turn on me.

I guess I am probably really just too sensitive for this food blog s'cool mistress mularky. I know I said I can take it, but perhaps I cant.

I am not 100 % certain I did the right thing, but I did do it and I have learnt many things from the experience. I have made my bed and I must lie in it.

I would hate to see this issue divide the "community" (that word now such a burden now where once it was a joy), but maybe at the end of the day, that is what it needs to do if we dont all see eye to eye. These days I try to be a little less hot headed than i was in my youth, but of course it doesnt always work out that way.

I havent actually ruled out reinstating the comments of the post. I have actually been thinking about it since Monday, I really cant come to a decision on it - it is tearing me apart.

I am going to sleep on it a while longer.

In the meantime, I am taking a 90 % break from blogging, and just to quash the rumours that have already started. It has nothing to do with this incident, it was for other, personal reasons that came to a head last Sunday which I dont care to outline here. Just so happen they coincided, that's all.


PS - I have never once thought of this my blog, i think of it as our blog - but I realise now it looks as if I acted as if was my blog last weekend. I took the action I did as a protective measure, nothing more, nothing less.


MM said...

Now Sam, don't be silly and take all this to heart.

As to your decision on Sunday, I think my last post may have been the proverbial straw that broke the high camel's back but it was your perogative to take down the comment board and I totally respect that.

I do think closing the comment board was the wisest thing to do as you could see things were escalating to a pissing contest. Perhaps, as someone suggested, you might have just disabled further comments but left the comments that had already been posted. Thus, people could make up their own minds about what had and had not been posted instead of hearing it from third parties. You know, broken telephone and all ...

Please don't take a break from blogging as I, for one, would certainly miss reading your posts. I am sorry for whatever it was that discouraged and disillusioned you to this extent. But you always have my full support.

Take care now.

ejm said...

I missed all this furor - my harddrive crashed last week (taking all sorts of things with it) and I have been distracted by eating (a lot) and then reinstalling the various needed programs.

Sam, unfortunately on the internet these arguments happen from time to time. I sometimes think that people will type things in a public reply that they would NEVER consider saying out loud or in person. While we all feel that we sort of know one another, there is still that feeling of anonymity, not to mention the instantaneous quality of the buttons on the internet that free people to say exactly what's on their minds. I remember admiring a character in a novel who would read her e-mail, type a reply immediately but wait for a day to send it. She would re-read her reply and edit out any rashness.

Let's hope that the bad feelings blow over soon.

Andrew said...

one of the joys of the internet is the immediacy of the medium, but it can also be its downfall. I myself have been 'victim' to my own rashness especially when outside events impinge on ones virtual life adding pressure/stresses or whatever that are unknown to our blogging friends.

Sometimes it is nice to take a step back, pause, refocus and take a deep breath. Overtime these little things are forgotten.

I am sure Sam, as one of the doyens of the food blogging community, will come bouncing back when the important stuff outside the internet has eased.

Baking Soda said...

Although I'm not much of a contributor on this blog, (I feel I'm not in the same league) and missed most of these happenings I feel I have to add my support. Please Sam, don't be discouraged and take things personally, it isn't worth it.
Take care, wishing you well in real life as well as the virtual one.

Clare Eats said...

Someone has to make the hard decisions, and in this case it was unluckily you as the blog mistress. I think that we all need to respect your decisions. Come on as if this is really that important people!
So Don't stress, we all still respect you!

Sam I hope the reasons for your break in blogging are resolving themselves and that you are ok, if you need anything let me know


Alanna said...

It may be 'our' school but someone needs to take charge. So you did. Don't second-guess your decision -- which doesn't preclude changing it if the circumstances have changed. You're doing just fine. As a some-organized community, if we can take/make good from this week, we'll be still stronger. If it weren't for the miles and time zones between us, we'd be meeting for a beer tomorrow. We could use it!

Kevin said...


Take a break, drink some wine, make Fred massage your feet, catch some naps. We all need a break on occasion.

Ruth said...

Sam, ditto what Kevin said.

You've done a great job here. It may be OUR blog, but it was your direction, your drive and your leadership that has made it what it has become. So thank you for that.

Now take a deep breath, deal with whatever else you have to and know that all your family here are wishing you well.

vlb5757 said...

Sam, I joined this forum to hear all opinions and suggestions. Having said that, I agree with Clare, sometimes when you have to make a hard decision it doesn't seem very popular. Doing the hard thing may not make you popular but your character shines through and I respect that. Everyone has to draw a in the sand and know when it's okay to cross and when it's okay to stand your ground.

I missed everything that happened but got the jist of it reading others blogs and so on and so forth. What I know is, I will be back and there are others who never express their opinion here that will be back too. Others will leave, oh well. Life goes on and those who are faithful readers will continue to give you their support. Blog on!

Alicat said...

I would just like to say that as someone who did disagree with the hiding of the comments -- there is a right way and a wrong way to show your (meaning people who feel the way I do) viewpoint on the matter. I haven't run across anyone who felt like they hated you, Sam. I think that is going too far. I haven't run across anyone that is wanting to create a rift or who is extremely angry.

People that I've seen have just disagreed with the action, which is their right. It is, of course, your right to take the comments down, and it is their right to disagree with that. Nothing more, nothing less.

Also, I am not trying to be all-knowing and act like I know for a fact that no one is extremelly pissed off. But from where I stand those that were upset were calmly disagreeing with you and it wasn't that huge of a deal to them.

Personally, I use to feel like it was 'our' blog, but when you decided to do what you did, it no longer felt that way. I understand your reasoning for it, I understand what everyone else is saying about someone had to take charge, but I do feel that it is your blog ulimately, which is why I emphasized that in my cheese sandwich post. It isn't meant to be a diss or anything like that.

paul said...

This has been made more of a deal than it should be, as are most internet 'arguments'.

I was about to post that Sunday night, but I hit the publish button just after the thread was shut down. I was going to suggest closing the comments, as everything that was going to be said, had been said, and it seemed to me that someone was trolling.

As for it being Sam's thing and not ours, at first it did upset me a little that people's opinions were deleted, but hey, she is our headmistress. If she wants to rule with an iron hand, let her. Someone needs to draw the line on what is proper here. We've got our own blogs to spew on.

We can follow through with the school analogy, this should be a place to learn, it's not a soapbox forum, so perhaps some discipline needs to be handed out once in awhile when the kids get unruly.

I'm going to go stand in the corner now.

Tana Butler said...

I have belonged to a forum for five years now, called I am in the habit of saying it is, without question, the most civil forum I've ever enjoyed. (I've been in online communities since 1989, and have yet to witness one that didn't occasionally break out into flames.)

There is only one rule, really:
"Readerville is a gathering place for anyone and everyone who has an interest in books -- readers, writers, publishers, editors, agents, teachers, students, booksellers, librarians, etc, etc. Everyone here is a guest of Readerville and we expect each of you to be cordial to the other guests. Please don't agree about everything -- that would be terribly boring -- but do disagree respectfully. If you seem to be having trouble getting along, we will try to help you out. But if you persist in treating other guests badly, we reserve the right to terminate your account."

In the entire time the place has been open, Karen Templer has managed with a velvet glove to keep people, if not cordial, at least something approximating civil. She amazes me, frankly, with her forbearance and calm. She is an inspiration to me. Not that R'ville hasn't had its dust-ups, but the civility and kindness that emanate from Karen herself seem to override most of the fractiousness.

In the entire time Readerville's been open, she has only terminated two accounts (of thousands). She did this after arduous and meticulous negotiations with the people who just couldn't refrain from flaming and baiting others.

Karen reminds me of Sam. I feel very much in awe of the good work that Sam has done for food bloggers, and do not know of a single soul doing as much for us as she has.

If Sam has to take a break from blogging, perhaps she just needs to be rejuvenated. Meanwhile, I send my very very best wishes to her, with prayers for her ease and comfort and joy.

It's pretty simple: Sam, you rock. I thank you for your contributions to this community, and feel very much that its strength is a direct reflection of all you have given. I support your right to act in the best interest of your own vision, which as I see it, has never ever been to serve the personal interests of Sam Breach, at least not insofar in a vainglorious way. (I can't say that about everyone who blogs, lemme tell ya.) I do know that your "personal interests," by my definition, are joy, inclusivity, and civility. I appreciate you tremendously, and would yield to your better judgment at any time. I've seen your good works. You don't appear to have a selfish bone in your body.

That's all.

Oh, and God/dess bless you.

Owen said...

Sam - you are doing great - the food blogging community has a better attitude than any other online community I've been involved in. (Try sticking an innocent comment in a political blog sometime).

Sam - your energy makes all the difference here - recharge your batteries - do lots of work - whatever it is you need to be doing.

My only regret in all this is that I missed most of the fun - the last time I had looked at the comment thread it was still pretty innocuous!